Pause and Reflect

Nothing like a cold or flu to get me into reflection mode. It prevents us from doing what we need or want to do. I am forced to rest and take care of myself, which often on weekends, truthfully, I don't do that so well. For instance, I forget to eat.

I have a great deal to be grateful for. Instead of allowing myself to get all grumped out over my running nose, and overall feeling of yuck, I am choosing to be grateful for my ongoing excellent health.

Dont' get me wrong, I have my challenges. Athsma, PSTD, anxiety, depression, five car accident back and neck injuries, and stuff too personal to get into.

I sound like a wreck when I reveiw that list, and I am surprised by it. I dont' focus on those things. I focus on what my late mother taught me. Look for beauty all around. It can be my cats being goofy, a flower blooming outside my window, a stranger making me laugh. The point is it's all about what I choose to focus on.

When I lived in Zimbabwe, I always wondered why the Shona people were always so happy. Even those who struggled hard, and didn't have much, including enough food to eat. I never saw anyone get angry. Everyone smiled and laughed. There was no obvious neurosis. And I didn't get bothered by anxiety or PTSD, or depression. Everyone lived in the moment, so I did too. It was infectious.

Living in the moment. My mother would point beauty out everywhere. Once, when she was quite elderly, I took her camping at a powwow. She needed to use the outhouse in the middle of the night. I helped her to cross the hundred yards of field. First she apologized for inconveniencing me. Then she pointed out the moon, which hung in the sky like a large luminus dinner plate. "Isn't it BEAUTIFUL", she exclaimed. Yes. Yes it was. We shared the thousandth moment of beauty together.

Thank you Mum, for teaching me something so valuable. To seek out beauty everywhere. So I am almost grateful to my cold. Almost. It has given me cause to pause, and reflect, and to immerse myself in gratitude.